Two to Tango... The Pendulum Lesson 🙂
One of my fave podcasters (The Lively Show) mentioned this concept of a pendulum a while back and it made SO much sense to me. I taught it to David (my 6yo) and it's now one of those things that we both call each other out on... here's the latest episode:
David has about a million lego sets in his room (thanks to every-single-family member for their Hanukah & Christmas gifts :)), and he guards them all with his life when his brother walks into the room.
Last night, Ethan crashed into David's room (uninvited), and David immediately started freaking out, throwing himself over his latest one (Harry Potter Hogwarts Express.. it's awesome Jason Funt!!) crying, "No Ethan! You're going to ruin my new legos, no no no!". Ethan subsequently gets this evil look on his face and, as only a good little brother would do, goes right for the beloved Hogwarts train.
From the doorway, that's when I yell, "PENDULUM!!"
Pendulum (our def'n): the concept that the beginning and continuation of a conflict often breaks down into the fact that it takes 2 to tango. That is, if you get fired up and start pushing against someone or something, you're eliciting that person or thing to jump on the other side of your pendulum to push you back (picture a pendulum swinging back and forth...). In the law of attraction, this would be you attracting someone else to resist you because you're holding that frequency (of fear/resistance). You and your "enemy" therefore continue to go back and forth, pushing up against each other for as long as you both hold onto your side of the pendulum (because without someone pushing against you, you wouldn't have anything to resist).
Once David heard me shout "Pendulum!", he immediately stopped crying and resisting... because he knows the only way you stop the pendulum from swinging, is to jump out it.
Like magic, he then offered Ethan a different lego figure that he could play with (making it out to be the greatest lego ever; I swear big brothers must make amazing salesmen when they're older...). Ethan joyfully took the new amazing lego - because he really hadn't entered the room with the intention to terrorize the new train set - and Hogwarts Express was saved. And once again, "Pendulum!" saved the day.
Next time you or your kids are in the middle of a conflict, picture a pendulum swinging back and forth, and see what you can do to jump off/ change your energy around the situation. A lot of times, it might be as simple as focusing on something you DO want, instead of what you DON'T want. From experience, it's guaranteed to single-handedly stop the conflict in its tracks. And if you teach it to your kids, just be prepared for them to call out "Pendulum!" the next time you start pushing up against them 😄